


The best a girl could ask for

by AceLucky



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Affection, Breastfeeding, Comfort, Depression, F/M, Fighting, Friendship, Gen, Implied Relationships, Loneliness, Misogyny, Prison, Public Breast feeding, Public Display of Affection, Reader-Insert, Sexual Fantasy, Twins, Violence, implied threesome F/M/M, shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-04
Updated: 2015-10-04
Packaged: 2018-04-24 19:44:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4932853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceLucky/pseuds/AceLucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reader insert fic - you're Chibs' old lady, you've recently had twins who you're totally in love with but Chibs is banged up in Stockton for 6 months and you're finding it hard to cope on your own. Tig promises Chibs he'll look after you and the twins and helps you to cope. Breast feeding is the hardest part where you have two babies to feed, in the end Tig has to step up to help you achieve this and later will defend your right to do it in public by doing what he does best.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The best a girl could ask for

**Author's Note:**

> If you're uncomfortable about breast feeding or breast feeding in public then yeah this isn't for you, actually if you hate the idea of publicly breast feeding and think it's unnatural then please leave anyway :) Everyone else, so very welcome. 
> 
> This is rated mature because of some of the language/brief fantasies, NOT because of the descriptions of breast feeding.

You sigh, frustrated doesn’t even begin to describe this, you’re a mother now, this should come naturally shouldn’t it? But it doesn’t, or perhaps on the occasional off chance it works with one but not the other. You’ve seen photos of women breast-feeding twins and it looks so perfect, but now you’re crying, head in hands and the twins are screaming. You’ve had an infection which you’re fighting with antibiotics so you can’t even drink to numb the pain and you’re pretty sure you have anti natal depression. Once the tears start they don’t stop easily. 

“Hey,” the familiar voice drifts across to you, clearly concerned. You feel a hand on your shoulder.

“Hey Tiggy,” you look up a forced smile painted on your tear streaked face.

“What’s up darlin’?” Tig moves and sits on the sofa next to you, wrapping an arm round your shoulders and kissing your cheek. Yeah you can tell he’s worried, he’s not just your friend, he’d made a promise to his best friend that he didn’t intend to break, that he’d protect you no matter what. He bends down to the twins and tickles their feet at the same time and starts making baby noises. You can’t help but laugh a little, who’d of known it. You imagine he must have been a great father, especially when his girls were babies… Your face grows sad; it hadn’t been that long since Dawn, oh god. Watching Tig now with your twins he seemed so happy, but there was a hint of regret, distrust in himself. 

“I can’t do this Tiggy,” you breathe out a heavy sigh. “Twins are bad enough when your partner is around, but when they’re not, when they’re banged up.”

Tig looks at you and places a hand on your knee, “yes you can, I know you y/n all the shit you’ve been through, hell this is nothin’” he offers a smile.

You nod, wanting to believe him, it’s a false nod. Chibs only has another 6 months inside, but the first 6 months of his children’s lives. You remind yourself how lucky you are, Chibs was granted a day out of prison so he could be with you in the hospital when the twins were born, inmates aren’t always that lucky. But the fact you’d had so many complications in your pregnancy, the fact that it was twins and that the doctors and midwife seemed so uncertain, well Chibs had been on good behaviour. Having him there in the hospital, mopping your brow, letting you squeeze, his big, rough hands that you missed all over your body. Him singing to you in Gaelic, his words of comfort, the tears of joy when he held his baby boy and girl for the first time. The photos you’d taken on that day were all framed next to your bed, in your living room, there was even one up on the club house wall. But Chibs wasn’t there now, not now with the depression, nightmares, the pain and the fact no matter what you did breast feeding was becoming a definite no.

“Thank you Tiggy,” you say sadly reaching for his knee and gently squeezing it, “yer a good friend.” You yawn, you haven’t had any sleep in days, worrying about the twins, worrying about Chibs and what other inmates would do to him. Your stomach twists and you feel nauseous. 

“Why don’t you sleep darlin’ I’ll watch the twins,” Tig suggests. You feel guilty, he’s already done too much already but you can’t deny your whole body is crying out for the land of slumber. 

“You sure Tiggy?” You feel bad, it should be your family here, but you don’t have much family left, your siblings promise they’ll be here soon and you know they’re trying to rally to get the money together for flights, but right now all you have is the club. 

Tig nods, “go on sweetheart, I’ll be right here.”

You get up, kiss both your twins and then kiss Tig’s forehead. “There’s nappies, milk, everything you need in this bag. With the milk just put in the microwave,” Tig stops you, reaches out, “sweetheart I know, remember I done this before.”

Wearily you smile, “thank you Tiggy, I love you.” 

You grab a glass of water and then walk up the club house stairs to Chibs’ room. Once inside you turn the TV on quietly and collapse under the covers. The bed still smells of Chibs despite his absence for so long, it’s all cigarettes, whiskey, old spice and earth. You close your eyes and dream of walking across the Scottish moors with him, the wind blowing your hair uncontrollably and Chibs’ fits of laughter as your scarf blows away and you chase it over the heather. Finally you fall asleep, he’s promised he’ll take you to Scotland one day; you’ve been before but not with him. 

You sleep peacefully for a few hours and then the nightmares come thick and fast and soon you wake up screaming and gasping for air, the water does little but choke you. Tig bursts through the door, terror written on his face, “y/n are you okay, what happened?” He’s panicking searching the room.

“Nothing, nothing, just a dream,” you try to stay strong but soon you’re crying again. God the nightmares were never this bad when Chibs was by your side.

Tig slides into the bed next to you and holds your head against his chest, he strokes your hair gently as he hushes you, “it’s okay baby it’s okay.” Tig is at a loss over what to do, this much is obvious to you. “Don’t worry about the twins, Rat has them.”

You smile, yes Rat will make a great father one day you can tell that. “Shall I bring them to you?”

You nod, “Please.”

When Tig returns he hands both twins over to you, “I’m gonna try and feed them,” you say sadly knowing this probably won’t help your mood.

Tig nods and turns to leave you in private, "you need anything just say." You smile and as he leaves you pull down the straps of your top, it’s heavily padded so you don’t have to wear a bra. With twins you figured early on it was way too much effort with one on, at least when nursing them. You take the first, the girl and line her up, holding her perfectly like a rugby ball. It takes a while, but eventually she latches on and you breathe a sigh of relief, “one down, one to go,” you mutter.

You pick up your boy, like a rugby ball and do your best to get him to latch on, only your other hand is pre-occupied, you can’t stimulate your breast to produce milk, you can’t get him quite lined up and he’s crying where he’s so hungry but the angle is all wrong and now you’re crying again as you put him back down on the bed and start to hush him to no aveil. “Fuck sake,” you find yourself swearing aloud, something you didn’t want to do in front of your babies. 

And then the other is sucking too hard and it hurts, you ache all over and you’re just too tired, you let out a weary scream, instantly regretting it as now your boy is crying louder and to anyone else you must appear an abusive mother who’s about to lose the plot. Tig bursts in again, as soon as he sees you, one baby breast feeding and your other breast exposed he fumbles at the door, “ahhh sorry, sorry y/n I’ll,” he goes to close the door.

“No, Tiggy don’t go,” you sigh. You need Chibs for this, you need someone to help you feed them, but Chibs isn’t around, you’re not even embarrassed anymore, this doesn’t feel weird or unnatural. 

Tig turns back, keeps his eyes to the ground, he closes the door, “s’ok Tiggy you can look, not like you’ve never seen my tits before,” you smirk a little through your tears, remembering a time when you and Chibs hadn’t known each other for long. It was one of the many club parties and you’d flashed your tits to the club after losing a bet, always stay classy you’d remembered sarcastically thinking to yourself afterwards.

Tig looks up, he smiles, “she seems happy,” you nod, “yeah but not him.” You look desperate, unsure of what to suggest.

Tig walks towards you and sits down on the other side of the bed, he picks up your son and cradles him close to his chest, “shhh little man.” He rocks him in his arms.

You can’t help but smile, your stomach does a little flip, you know it should be Chibs there, and god you miss and love him but having Tig by your side isn’t bad either. “What can I do?” He asks sincerely.

You know this is gonna be awkward but you need his help, “I need you to help get him to feed, you gotta line his lips up with, you know.”

Tig nodded, yeah he didn’t need you to spell it out. But you might need to put your hand under to straighten it up and then, god you felt too embarrassed. Basically you needed a million hands, one to hold him, one to lift up your heavy breast so the teat was straight rather than pointing towards and another hand to stimulate to try and produce milk so your son would smell it and you could wet his lips with it. You figure the last one was the most awkward so with your free hand you could do that.

“With you other hand, I need you to cup my breast, help lift it so the teat’s straight,” your cheeks are flushed, you know you’re the colour of a beetroot and judging by Tig’s face he too is uncomfortable, you’re pretty sure he’ll walk away, but he doesn’t.

“Okay then,” he simply responds and then does exactly what you’ve asked him to.

When he touches your flesh shivers go up your spine, this doesn’t count as sexual contact you know that but there’s something about it. Hell this is the most tender someone has been with you since your last night with Chibs and god your mind is confused in that moment. You know absolutely that nothing will happen between you, you love Chibs too much and could never cheat on him and Tig couldn’t do it to a brother. But you feel confused, awoken as both a mother and lover and your tears don’t stop.

Tig’s there shhhing you as you wet your sons lips with your milk, moments later you feel his soft gums round your nipple and let out a happy sob, your eyes light up. “Oh my god,” you breathe out slowly. 

Tig is grinning, “see knew we’d get you there. Chibs will be so proud.”

You nod, “If I hold him now he’s settled, will you take a photo to show him?”

Tig sprung up and took your phone from the side, he took several photos of you and then one on his own phone for good measure, you couldn’t begrudge him that.  
“Shall I leave you then?” He asked.

“No, stay please.” Truth was you didn’t want to be alone, not now.

There was silence as the two of you watched the TV, your babies suckling contently and finally you had to say something, “Tig, I know this must be hard for you, after…” you couldn’t say her name, couldn’t say either of their names, “so thank you, you know you’re gonna be in both their lives right? Whenever you want to be, I won’t keep them from you, you’ll be their Uncle Tiggy.”

You smile, you mean every word and Tig returns the smile, he has tears in his eyes but he’s smiling throughout it. He nods, “thank you y/n.”

“Anytime you need to talk about her I’m here,” you whisper. 

And you know your words mean so much to Tig and understand why he says nothing. 

A few days later after visiting the prison and seeing Chibs you feel so much better, he is in love with you and your beautiful babies. You’ve got a copy of the photo printed for him and he held it close to his breast, he says he loves you over and over again. Tig sees Chibs alone too afterwards, he tells you after that he explained to Chibs about the breastfeeding and he was fine with it, just in case you felt guilty.

Afterwards you and Tig go for some lunch at a café, within minutes the twins are hungry and crying. You hadn’t bought enough milk with you in bottles as you hadn’t been planning on going for lunch and so you disappear to the toilets to feed them. A few minutes later you return, eyes blurry with tears, it’s just too impossible on your own and whilst you could feed one at a time, each one takes so long and the other just cries throughout. You notice everyone staring at you and your cheeks start to burn.

“Hey, just feed them here, I’m here,” Tig reassures you as he rubs your arm. 

“I can’t, what if people stare,” you feel uncomfortable, public breastfeeding is something you’re very much for, but when it comes to you yourself, you can’t help but feel nervous at the prospect.

“Just face me, people will hardly see,” Tig tries his best to reassure you and takes hold of your hand from across the table. You look into his eyes and trust him, absolutely and so you nod. 

“Okay, but will you hold something up whilst I get the first one latched on?” He nods and grabs a large napkin to protect you, you know this goes against what you believe in you shouldn’t have to hide but with two it’s just difficult. 

Once your girl is suckling happily you can’t help but notice a couple staring at you tutting, staring at you feeding, staring at your tattoos, staring at Tig and his cut. It makes your blood boil and makes you more determined and give less of a fuck.

“Okay baby number two,” you smile this time, instead of being nervous. You pull down the other strap and Tig picks up your baby boy and helps you just as he did in Chibs’ bedroom. You’re aware of the eyes in the room staring at you, but you’re too happy, too content once feeding both that you simply don’t give a shit, you know Chibs would be proud.

“I’m proud of you,” Tig whispers as he leans in and kisses your forehead. You smile, everyone else can go to hell as far as you’re concerned. You felt a little stimulated; whether it was the suckling on both breasts or Tig’s hand gently cupping your breast, the thought of Chibs in his prison clothes, the way Tig looked at you almost hungrily. The way they both looked at you hungrily, especially when together. You’d known they were close, and it had crossed your mind a few times whether or not they’d ever had a drunken thing together, whether maybe one day the three of you could… Your mind became overwhelmed with fantasies and you knew you shouldn’t be thinking it, not at a pure moment like this but god it had been a while. It was no wonder you were thinking of such things, you needed Chibs back and soon. 

“Sweetheart?” Tig’s voice was calling you.

Your eyes flutter open, you’re aware your cheeks are red, “sorry, just a little warm in here,” God Chibs needed to get out of Stockton soon.

Suddenly a voice boomed from across the room, “d’yah see that? That's fuckin' disgusting!” It’s a man’s voice yelling, you know he's talking about you.

You both look up, Tig’s free hand is clenched into a fist already. There’s a man with his girlfriend staring at you, she’s laughing, everyone is now staring. “Yeah you!” He screams.  
He gets up and begins to march towards you, you feel your heart rate increase, and every part of you knows you have to protect your babies.

“Should be illegal, committing a sexual act in public, you dirty whore!” He spits at you. 

To your horror several people are nodding in agreement and shaking their heads. Tears begin to well up in your eyes, you turn to Tig for reassurance, “come on let’s go,” you say quietly.

“Nah, nah, nah baby girl we’re not going anywhere,” he removes his hand from you and you feel your breast sag a little but luckily your boy clings on. 

“You on the other hand,” Tig snarls as he gets up from his chair, both fists clenched. And then in a split second he’s on the other man, pushed him onto and through a table, he’s beating his chest again and again. His fist drives into the man’s face, smashing several teeth out and his girl is screaming. You think maybe you should leave after all but can’t help but grin, yeah Chibs would be proud.

You gently prize your babies from your nipples and pull your top back up, not caring if you’re leaking, you’ll be back in the safety of the club house soon enough. Your reach into your purse and pull out more than enough to cover the food, you chuck it on the table, “that’ll pay for the food and the damage,” you add with an apologetic smile.

You pick up your babies and bags, it’s a struggle but you’ve learned to manage, “come on Tiggy,” you say as you stand next to him. He looks up, there’s blood on his face, his knuckles, all over.

He wants to punch the man again you can tell, “not now Tiggy, it’s done,” you shake your head. He looks at your twins and drops the man to the ground, he nods and then apologies to the café owner.

You both leave the café in silence, everyone staring at you, “no one talks to you like that yer hear me?” He says. You nod, “thank you.”

When you get to the car Tig helps you put the twins safely into their child seats, once done you take him by his arms so he’s facing you, “I know you coulda really beaten the shit outta him, but much more and you’d have been in Stockton too, whilst that’d be good for my old man, it wouldn’t be good for me. I can’t lose you too.” You sob into his shoulder and know it’s gonna be a long 6 months if Chibs isn’t let out sooner, but with Tig by your side you can help each other.


End file.
